Ksenia: “Nothing happened that made it necessary to come and save Donbass”

In 2014, until recently, we thought that this was some kind of misunderstanding. Some wanted to immediately get to Russia, like Crimea, others wanted everything to return to normal as soon as possible. Some wanted Donetsk to remain part of Ukraine, but, like Crimea, be autonomous. No one expected war.

All events unfolded before my eyes, and we hoped that soon everything would resolve itself. When they seized the regional state administration, I saw how tires were being imported, barricades were being built, all this crowd was being fed near our house. Russian flags, a bunch of people in tracksuits, eternal rallies.

Russian flags, a bunch of people in tracksuits, eternal rallies

In June 2014, I found out that I was pregnant and went to get registered near the regional and city police departments. Climbing up the stairs, I heard gunshots. At first I did not understand what was happening: there was a feeling as if there was a construction site nearby and something was falling down. I went up to the floor, I saw panic among the doctors. I was told that now there is a seizure of the police department. Somehow they took me out of there, I got into the car already in hysterics. At the end of the month, my father called and said: “Pack your things, you are leaving before autumn.”

I really wanted to go home. In November, I persuaded my husband to return. Now, in order to get from Ukraine to Donetsk, I had to pass checkpoints where they asked me: “Why are you going there?”, but I didn’t understand why I had to explain why I was going home. I stayed in my hometown for several days, but I could no longer: the military walked around the city, the military were sitting in a cafe, something exploded near the airport, but people did not pay attention to it.

The military walked around the city, the military were sitting in a cafe, something exploded, but people did not pay attention to it

I returned to Donetsk in May 2016. My father was blacklisted, it was scary to pass checkpoints: they said that relatives of such people were kept in basements and demanded a ransom for them. I hoped for a different surname, and I was blown away.

When a new government came to Donetsk, it offered local residents to cooperate. Those who did not want to were in a hurry to leave the city. At first, it was possible to leave through checkpoints or gray zones, to leave through fields, forests, under covers. Then private traders transported people, food, medicines in their own ways.

Many had to stay in Donetsk because of attachment to work, home and relatives. At first, people hoped that everything would end soon, and then that it would ever end. Time passed, but nothing changed.

At first, people hoped that everything would end soon, and then that it would ever end.

Mom came to see me in Ukraine, she wanted to stay. She lived here for three months, could not find a job that would cover her expenses for food and rent of an apartment - she had to return home. Now she's in hiding. She texted me from the basement all day yesterday.

Many people understand what happened and call a spade a spade. Together with her mother, her friend is sitting in the basement. She is brave: if there is a militia next to her, she will not hesitate to say: “What the hell are you doing here, go to your Rashka, glory to Ukraine!” She swears at them, and hung the Ukrainian flag on the balcony. And now, because of the shelling, they are forced to sit in cover with their entire pro-Ukrainian entrance. There are many pro-Ukrainian people in the city, but they have to keep silent.

My classmate used to write to me: “I am Russian, dill is our enemy.” And it was so funny! Yes, we always spoke Russian in Donetsk, but you were born in Ukraine, you studied in Ukraine, you worked in Ukraine, since when did you become Russian? Literally 2-3 years passed, and the same person wrote to me: “How tired of this I am! I want everything to come back and we live in Ukraine again.”

My mother and godfather say: “We don’t understand at all why we started it all. We already somehow lived, and it was necessary to leave everything as it is. According to them, until February 24 they lived normally: they worked, studied, walked. Yes, the curfew interfered, there were skirmishes in the border zones, but nothing happened that made it necessary to come and save the Donbass.

And yet the television and the city do their job. In 2014-2015, many people did not want Ukraine, they said "we are being killed." And now they still tell me: “Why are they killing us”? When shells come flying towards you, it's hard to think otherwise. Unfortunately, many continue to believe that Russia will protect them.

When you live 24/7 in this environment, you can't help but be influenced by the propaganda that comes out of every iron. Since 2014, Ukrainian channels have been turned off. I remember at some point I caught myself watching Russia-1: they were playing their hypnotizing picture. You call a spade a spade, your environment understands everything, but you still cook in this environment, and it affects you.

Unfortunately, many continue to believe that Russia will protect them.

With the onset of the pandemic, Donetsk was blocked. It was possible to get to Ukraine only through Russia. Going somewhere is a whole epic: go through four borders, spend 30 hours on it, give a lot of money to get to Ukraine and get a passport. After February 24, this possibility disappeared. Now it is possible to come from Donetsk to Ukraine only through Russia and the European Union. This is 350 euros, several days on the road - not to mention the borders, at any of which you can be detained.

Ukraine is forced to defend itself. But only if Donetsk will be liberated at such a price, then I don’t know what to do with it. I do not want new "LDNR", but I would not want to sacrifice people's lives either. I have a mother there who gets all this on her head. Severodonetsk and Rubizhne turned into ashes. Nobody wants this war.

Alina: “I don’t remember when the water was in the tap”

Now in Donetsk shelling every day - hit the center, people are dying. It is impossible to sleep at night. Just lie down - again somewhere an explosion. We run into the corridor when it flies close to our house. Just in case, dress appropriately. Then we take a sedative. It's scary to go somewhere: it can fly anywhere.

Just in case, dress appropriately. Then we take a sedative

At work, we sit in the corridors when they begin to shell the center. Cars rush around the city, everyone is in a hurry, and as a result, terrible car accidents with the dead.

There has been no water in the city for several months. They said that they would appear when Slavyansk was "liberated". Every day we run for water in the basement. When they arrive, we stand in line. From the constant dragging of canisters, the back hurts, washing turns into torment. Drinking water has to be bought.

I don't remember when there was water in the tap. We are waiting for rain and, if it happens, we collect water in basins and buckets. If only technical water was allowed! The sewer is clogged. Recently, she was barely able to prevent a catastrophe: due to lack of water, the toilet clogged. With great difficulty, she broke through with the help of the Mole.

Natalia: “I don’t understand why my child has to write test papers under shelling”

Here people know what war is, and many are against death. Among my entourage there is no one who would rejoice at the death of civilians in Ukraine. But today the war is going on not only in the controlled territories of Ukraine: it has become much more terrible in Donetsk.

We are on edge. The city is shelled every day. Eternal columns of smoke, ruined houses, shops, broken roads. Every day you remember how to behave during shelling. The whole of Donetsk lives like this - in constant fear and expectation when this hell will end.

Every day you remember how to behave during shelling

It is impossible to walk in the city, as it used to be. People are dying every day. A friend of mine was killed in a shelling the other day. Each of us can be gone at any moment - on the way to the store, to work, to the hospital. Only to whom to shout SOS to stop this hell?

I want to leave, but relatives keep me. It happens that you need to return home from work, and the shells fall closer and closer. To parents 30 meters from the house landed.

Separate conversation about schools. Due to hostilities, classes have been extended until the end of June. Children pretend to study, but I don't understand why my child has to write test papers under fire. My daughter does her homework through tears: there are terrible sounds outside the window, and she is just scared. Some programs have put above the lives of our children. Where is the "Minister of Education" now?

It happens that you need to return home from work, and the shells fall closer and closer

People often ask me: “When will you leave?” And I don't know what to answer. It's very difficult to get out. Especially for people with children and the elderly. There is simply no money, no one to leave housing for. Even if you leave, then where to return?

To take out animals, you need to make veterinary passports. And then there are the animals of relatives that need to be fed. For this reason, the husband of a friend does not leave, he does not go - she remains. We have already lost people because of dogs - the owners evacuated, asked a neighbor to feed the dog. So she died during the shelling, when she was feeding someone else's dog.

Yulia: “The fact that Russia has no plans to defend Donbass became clear back in 2014”

When everything was just beginning, we did not support the Maidan and were afraid of a repetition of May 2 in Odessa . If not for this terrible event, it is still unknown whether the referendum would have taken place or not. One thing is for sure - no one expected war.

The fact that Russia has no plans to defend the Donbass became clear back in 2014. Donetsk did not repeat the fate of Crimea, and the promised second referendum on joining Russia did not take place. Although who will remember this today? "Russian world" came unnoticed. First through social networks, then in reality. They fooled people's heads with promises of a good life and protection of the oppressed Russian-speaking population.

In 2022, when Russia recognized the DPR, I didn’t hear fireworks, I didn’t see joy on the faces of the people of Donetsk. People are so tired that it seems they can no longer rejoice. And why rejoice? The city is abandoned, people live in poverty. Previously, one could hope for a solution to some communal issues, but now many streets have turned into garbage dumps.

Fooled people's heads with promises of a good life and protection of the oppressed Russian-speaking population

Nothing has been built in eight years. Neither the Palace of Sports "Druzhba" nor the Palace of Youth "Youth" were repaired, as they promised every year, but they squeezed out a lot. An acquaintance six months ago said that the city came to life, expensive cars appeared. I asked her if she knew whose cars these were. Thinks that ordinary people. No matter how!

Since spring they have been shooting hailstones non-stop. And when the mobilization began, people panicked. The city was left almost without men. Everyone is worried about their loved ones, with whom there has been no connection for a long time. Are they alive? So far no one has returned.

I don't know who was made happier than people's deaths. Probably, if shells had not been flying into Donetsk, it would have become pro-Ukrainian long ago. But when someone arrives at your house, it's hard not to consider Ukraine an enemy.